| Friends Only |
[25 Oct 2003|07:44pm] |
Sorry, but this journal is Friends Only.
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[29 Sep 2003|08:30pm] |
I ate a lot of sugar today... EORIUEOTRUE *restrains self from killing everyone and blowing up at a very important someone over nothing*
*crawls under a rock*
*committs harakiri*
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| A small and useless post. |
[16 Jul 2003|02:47pm] |
Okay. So this is probably a small and useless post(woa dude, dejavu,) but I felt it had to be done.
I opened the newest Arena 37 and what did I find? In between 175R (Dont look them up, they are TERRIBLE) and RAG FAIR (who had one cool member with a cute smile and VK hair, but THEN HE SHAVED HIS HEAD) is this band that looks vaguely familiar. But what band that looks so mainstre... HOLY SHIT, BAROQUE, MAN, BAROQUE!!! HOW COULD THEY DO IT! Okay, so they also have an appearance in Shoxxs which is so much more VK. Maybe they're simply playing the field, but hell. What's it been, two days since they formed?
Whatever. Still love their music. >.> And MUCC and Kagerou are everywhere. I bought a MUCC CD in a regular store. Kagerou's first album comes out next month.. actually, baroque's too. Next month is big for releases.
I have two bits of news/requests.
1) When I return I really want to start up a jrock website with sections on different groups, but I want to do it with a group of people. In the end I hope to have people managing te sections on artists they like, making up the huge consortium of dokidoki.cc's jrock corner. I will be scanning pictures and information from my magazine's and stuff. I think I'll compose a list of release dates, etc.
2) I have an idea to propose to those who it may concern (my jrock rpg buddies.) I would like to add the possibility for more serious / plot oriented playing. I don't, however, want to disrupt the flow of things or upset anyone, so I thought it would be cool to add a LJ community to go along with the AIM rp so we could sometimes post literary works of continuity oriented material. I'd like to know what you all think.
TTFN
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| This is a great quiz. TAKE IT NOW. |
[15 Jul 2003|09:40am] |
You are asexual.
What is your sexual orientation?
brought to you by Quizilla
Uhm. I honestly think that is really damn accurate. Crazy. I think it's hard to have much of a sexual orientation if you are a virgin. I think I'm asiasexual. >.> Haha. Fifteen days. Man, fifteen days! I have so many gifts to buy. 8)
Some of you already have things bought. I had so much fun in this shop with jrocky stuff. <33333 I bought the Dear LIFE single, and I will probably buy a lot more before I leave. <3 I also bought a pair of Japanese Shoes. Cutest things in the world. Japanese shoes are like, the most stylish thing ever.
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| There are a couple of bottom lines here. Which one am I supposed to be looking at? |
[11 Jul 2003|12:48pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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Section 1!"#$%&'()=~|
Japanese pop culture is weird. No one knows who Dir en grey is, and some don't even know who I'm talking about when I say Pierrot (even though they are all over TV.) There is this show, called Kobe Calling, at it seems to be the only place I can find music videos. I haven't seen anything even kind of along my lines, except that OASIS by Gackt is really big right now. He really isn't in the media that much, and the more popular indies groups, even JdA and PLC seem to be nowhere. Maybe Akashi really is very out of the way for VK things, but still. I was shocked. I have seen a few things that interest me. The Kinki Kids are running a series of adds for Keitai. They seems to just be pretty faces to sell the product.
I don't like Japanese punk. It's ugly, and it's hideous to listen to. Or at least, 175R or whatever the group is called.
This group, Sound Schedule, is pretty good. I mean, the one song I've heard. The video is very amusing and the singer seems to have a wonderful sense of humor. Most people in Japan do though. There's another song that I like, but I don't know the name of the group. It's near impossible to find Arena 37 magazines anywhere, way not mainstream, and Shoxx is like... never seen. Except in this Yamaha store.
People give me blank looks when I say Visual Kei. But then, who would know Visual Kei in a world of women trying to look like Ayumi Hamasaki?
Oh my god. I sound so cynical! Don't listen to me! Japan is wonderful. It's great. I just wish I were closer to Tokyo. I'm kind of out in the boonies. Though, Osaka isn't too far. Osaka is great <3__<3
OKAY! MOVING ON!
Section 2!"#$%&'()=~|
DIR EN GREY IS SO VISUAL KEI! People complain about VK bands turning not-vk when they go major, but honestly. If you are comparing them to American Rock they are dull, but compared to Ayumi Hamasaki, Utada Hikaru, and Maki (formerly a member of MoMusu) and everything else that is big (boy bands) they are really quite out there. Japanese people still think of them as wild and VK. SO hold your horses and don't call Deg a sell-out. They are simply changing, not watering it down in ANY way. They are making their look more sophisticated, it's not like they are running away from shock and shock value.
SO SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY.
If you want to argue this... >.> Well, you better have been to Japan. So there.
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[09 Jul 2003|02:04pm] |
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Today is the halfway point.
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[01 Jul 2003|03:27pm] |
You represent... apathy.
You don't really show any emotion. You can be
considered cruel and cold, but you just don't
really care about anything. This is just the
way you are... you're quite a challenge to get
close to, and others may perceive you as
boring.
What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
'Oikaze' Isn't that a pretty name?
In other news: JUN IS STRAIGHT! (This is ZiG Jun.) He is the first KNOWN MEMBER TO BE STRAIGHT! He even has a girlfriend. 8O!! SUMMER!! Her name is Takae <3<3 She's cool and mojo-y.
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[30 Jun 2003|10:29am] |
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mood |
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 geeky |
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T.M.Revolution concert update:
(This is where I pretend to be as cool as Go. >.>)
In latest news, Nishikawa Takanori is the froofiest, froppiest, fluffiest thing to hit racks since... well, the puppy dog was invented. He is pure PURE cheese. The stage is like, a giant air vent so he can have his flowing hair and lacey clothing at all times, especially when he strikes a cool pose or the lights get SPIFFY. The lights were really spiffy, I was so impressed. They went along with the music very well. The venue was tiny, I could see his face (though I couldn't tell he was asian, I wasn't close enough.) He was always smiling. It's like, uhm... puppy-dog trapped in a humans body. He is the epitomy of energy and cuteness.
But let me tell you.
T.M.Revolution has sex appeal. Not just Takanori, but the other members too. The guitarist looked like Takuro (ahahaha) but he was sooo good. He just rocked and rocked and rocked on, espically on his solos. And the bassist looked like... similar to an incarnation of Gackt hair... though not quite. Something familiar, something cool. I really dug him. Yuh. I loved it.
And Takanori, though not hardcore, gothic, or strange (in that bright colored hide way) is still VERY VISUAL KEI. Though all the Japanese girls didn't think so. His outfits = pure fluff.
O h . m y . g o d . . .
He like, stripped on stage. Well, not really, but there was a lot of self touching and shirt-removal. He ALMOST stuck his hand down his pants at one point, but nwoooooo. >.> Not that I wanted him to. (*wanted him to*)
The whole thing was amazing, and even though I had to pee the entire time and I had a headache and I got tired of standing it was just FABULOUS. The lights and the colors.. and the peoooplleeee. Everyone like, knew certain rules for arm gestures for the songs. During the chorus they'd outstretch their arms and then do the damn airplane director thing. I don't know why I cant explain it. Bending the arm at the elbow and... blah. Anyway, all together, in sync, it was so damn wonderful.
Five seconds into the show I like... I couldn't stop tears from welling up in my eyes. It was everything I wanted. On the stage, the entrances, the first few songs, it's everything I want. I want to do that. I want to preform. I want to have that relationship with the audience, the relationship that Takanori had. He totally soaked up all the screams, and the listless cries. The girls wailed him name out like a theatre of ghosts. It was so damn eerie. He just smiled, and talked.
Oh. He has an amazing voice. For speaking. Like... it's very soft, but strong. Slightly hoarse, but calming. He has a great, boyish voice to go with his boyish smile. Hahaha, he's boyish even though he dresses like a woman. Anyway. At the very end he said:
Mata aoze
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| Japanese School Boy: (obnoxiously) HI!!! |
[26 Jun 2003|02:13pm] |
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mood |
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GYAHSCHLBEHMERG!
You all = just made my day with your replies to my last post. So kind and... kind. Damyoo, I miss you all. I'll get my money back on friday (did I mention I lost my passport, money, visa card, insurance, drivers lisence, international student id, and calling card?) so I'll be able to write you. For some reason AIM express doesn't work on this computer so I can't get on to see you, even though I bet you are all on right now and I have 2 hours of nothing to do.
Hyde: *snuggles on your lap, even if there is pizza there*
Nikki: *wraps up in the biggest of hugs and chews on shoulder* I miss you too ^_^
I'm suffering serious withdrawals after how constant our rping was. How is the rp? Has Kao picked up the porn business yet?
Adi: I keep thinking about you and hoping everything is going well... Especially with regards to your 'love life.' I was watching random Japanese television when this crazy murder mystery show called 'Kao' (face) came on. It starred a bunch of attractive asian people + TOMORI DOIHARA. 'Otagiri Jo' seems to be, with the right hairstyle (which he had in Kao) TOMORI DOIHARA. I was like, OMYFUCKINGGODNOSHITTHISISN'THAPPENING!!!!! 0_0;;;;;; Try looking it up.
Sarah: Yes. Mana and Plastic Tree. I was like... '0_0 Saaaaaarrraaaaaaah!!!' I tried to find out if they'd be preforming again in August but my communication skills are... well... shit.
I think about you all every night. Sad, but true. I've been writing obsessively in a journal and it's been helping. I tell you something: I'm surrounded by SCHOOLBOYS. >.>;;;;
They all stare at me. Not just the boys, but I can tell theres a difference. The girls just stare, and smile and wave sometimes, but the boys... STARE. You know, I've never been stared at before in my life. It's... amazingly strange and new. I'd say 45-50% of people here are attractive, as opposed to the dismal 5% of americans.
I keep getting these mixed up:
Jitensha - Bike
Jitenshou - Train Station
Jisshou - Electronic Dictionary
I'm going to take so many pictures and scan them alllll in when I get back. <3
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| Dir en grey consert + tummy aches |
[25 Jun 2003|11:45am] |
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I don't know if I am happy or sad.
I don't think I can see Dir en grey. It would cost 4,0000yen all together (around $400) and I only brought $400 with me so... I don't think it will work. The sad part is, the ticket I would have IS A DAMN FANCLUB TICKET. It's #50 and very damn CLOSE to the front. AUGDHFLIRDHFE. Someone please stop this mad raving despair that is ruining my life right now.
I miss you all so much.
Many replies, because AIM Express = NOT WORKING.
;____;!!!!
LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVETOJ00ALLDAMNIT!
Cool Japanese word: Kakkouii = fashionable / cool. As far as I can tell it's only used for people but... very usefull. This girl... Eri, is going to see TMR this weekend. I'm JEALOUS. Mmmhmmmmmm!!! Turns out right before I leave, in Osaka, Plastic Tree and Mana are preforming together. Should I try to go? Janne Da Arc is also playing around then. If anyone has any idea what other tour dates are before July 30th... TELL ME AND I'LL GET YOU TOUR GOODS.
Mm. You all think you need money to buy Jrock stuff. I NEED MONEY TO GO SEE DIR EN GREY. WAAAAAHHH!!!!
*runsaroundincircles*
*sniffus*
TTFN!!!
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[02 Jun 2003|08:02pm] |
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Sugizo & Ryuichi Sakamoto - the eighth colour |
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I can see it already. Sitting in a room, knees curled to chest, frighteningly aware of the world. Of how big it is. Even the most foolish fool knows the world is big. He knows there are other places with other people. But I will feel it. I will feel aware of the curve of land and the intensely long distance I had traveled.
I have no conecpt of that. I know from here to Idaho. That's not very much space, but I know it well. I'm familiar. Suddenly, I will be so many unthinkable miles away.
I'm frightened.
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[27 May 2003|10:41pm] |
You have to draw the line somewhere.
This is where I draw the line:
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| ATTN: |
[28 Mar 2003|02:24pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Dir en grey - Riyuu (Susumu Yokota Mix) |
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From now on all the entries in my journal are "friends only." I've taken the liberty of removing everyone I know offline from my friendslist, as it has been inhibiting my abbility to use this journal as a place to write my feelings.
I've realized something - and I think it's fairly monumental for me.
In my history, I've been a fairly emotionally distraught child with a penchant for over-dramatizing. Well, I mean, that's the way I've seen it, because that's how others whose limit points of view see it. I do not believe in myself, but others. That's the one characteristic that makes me more uke than anything else. Or, needy. Awkward on my own, able to form theories about my life and how I feel, those theories are always broken down by the solid facts of other people's point of view.
( So how does this affect my life? )
I have a decision. Forgive Kindra and Eric, or stop associating with them. Disconnecting myself from my best friend. My only comfort is change. "Everything changes, Govinda, and everything returns." So I let the water flow through me and let this go - this friendship and all the good things it's brought me, and trust in life to bring me good again. To brings me a friend again.
Because I cannot forgive.
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| For the love of... |
[18 Mar 2003|12:47pm] |
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Glay - Way of Difference |
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Sanity.
I think this journal has become an outlet for my fiendish whining and outbursts of unhappiness.
I have to do this, though. ( Any thoughts past this point are probably sincere and private, and unreasonable beyond belief. )
And I'd like to thank the academy.
It's amazing, after writing that out, I feel so much better. I know I've got a lot ahead to get through this... upset spell, but I'm willing.
And I just want you all to know that I love you to death. And I want us to just be happy.
<3<3
And now, I will go eat! 8D
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| Aishite... |
[17 Mar 2003|10:50pm] |
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depressed |
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music |
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Gackt - Story |
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I feel very empty.
I've been accused of being an elistest behind aiko's back. What is that? Why would I keep Adi and Mana out? I love them both with all my heart. I was honest about my feelings a few weeks ago... and because I was - now I am the best candidate to villify. I never meant to hurt anyone... but as far as I can tell it's my fault Adi can't play Kaoru anymore.
It's never hurt so much.
Having one of my dearest friends tell me she thought I was hurting people on purpose... hurting her other friends... and that she doesn't trust me. Apparently, I can't clear anything up, or defend myself.
I'm sorry. I'm so hurt.
If I were several miles fewer in experience...
That doesn't matter. I suppose all that does is that I love aiko, and she's... she doesn't trust me. If anything she suspects me of such a cruel, selfish thing. I suppose I haven't let her know me very well, or maybe the internet just stops her from knowing me very well.... Maybe I even misinterpret myself. I never thought I was capable of such cruelties. Not on this personal level...
Why would I keep Mana out? I invite her every day... she declines every time.
Why would I try to keep Adi out? I tried to stop her from leaving in the first place. If I am an elitest, both of them would fit into my definition of 'elite.'
One thing that really hurts.... is having my... It was hard for me to say "I am an elitest." But that was the more cruel way I could think to put it - and it's safer if you say it about yourself, than to let someone use it as an insult. It was hard for me to say it. Admit my faults like that. And to have it thrown right back in my face.
I feel worthless.
I feel like a small bug, watching people...
Watching happiness.
God.
All Mana did was try to kill herself - and suddenly it looks like aiko is in love with her.
How am I supposed to deal with that?
It hurts me.
What does that say? Try to kill yourself?
This - ladies and gentlemen - is my little drama queen. Welcome to the not-so-tortured world of the depressed little pampered girl. The selfish brat. The drama queen.
Goodbye.
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| Well shit... |
[07 Mar 2003|11:25pm] |
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T.M.Revolution - INVOKE |
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If this isn't the coolest answer on a quiz I've ever gotten. I'm thoroughly happy with it. Go me. =P
You are the Marquis Da Sade. Even stripped of
exaggerations, Your real life was as dramatic
and as tragic as a cautionary tale. Born to an
ancient and noble house, you were married
(against your wishes) to a middle-class heiress
for money, caused scandals with prostitutes and
with your sister-in-law, thus enraging your
mother-in-law, who had you imprisoned under a
lettre de cachet for 14 years until the
Revolution freed you. Amphibian, protean,
charming, you became a Revolutionary,
miraculously escaping the guillotine during the
Terror, only to be arrested later for
publishing your erotic novels. You spent your
final 12 years in the insane asylum at
Charenton, where you caused another scandal by
directing plays using inmates and professional
actors. You died there in 1814, virtually in
the arms of your teenage mistress.
You are a revolutionary deviant. I applaud you.
Which Imfamous criminal are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| Failure at life ^^ |
[06 Mar 2003|08:22am] |
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T.M.Revolution - Der Freischutz |
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I realize I promised a full blown update and never really gave it to you (I talk like anyone cares, I think I have an imaginary peanut gallery.) Forgive me.
So, last night I triedout a weight lifting / aerobic class last night. It was fun, I ended up a little sore, and got to listen to funky music. Overall it was good. I came home in a blank mood, not really feeling anything at all. After five minutes in a chatroom with my fellow jrock rpers I found myself blowing up. I finally let out all this shit that'd been bugging me. Letting it out won't really change anything, I don't think.
Right now I'm just hurting.
I gave my only really active character away. For some reason people just don't... stuff doesn't happen with Toshiya. I think I must be more of a "cardboard" player than I thought.
The whole situation is delicate, and if I think about it too much it upsets me again.
Last night I was basically able to sob. I cried until my chest ached and my sides were sore. I cried until I was in physical pain and I had to go lay down afterwards. It felt good, I got out a lot of pain that I've been holding in, thats been building up since the begining of the school year.
I'd just like to say something.
Eric told me he was afraid of relationships. He basically told me that was the last thing he wanted.... But to Kindra he told her he wanted one. To Kindra the issue was different. The fact that the guy I liked ditched me for my best friend... seems so low when I think about it. I mean... it seems like one of those situations where neither of the two of them thinks about what they're doing to others very much.
I really don't like love in tight connection with friendship as groups. If that makes any sense.
And I hate them for forcing me to be around relationships so much. I don't want to watch it.
I miss Hakuei and Miyavi.
I'm going now.
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[04 Mar 2003|06:37pm] |
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odd |
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Luna Sea - Until the Day I Die |
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There is an importance in now.
Accept things around you, and be at peace.
The distance you have from yourself and the world eats away.
Private thoughts spiral away into listless fantasies.
Act not on your fantasies.
Kindness is the bottom line.
Growth.
Change.
Accept things around you, and be at peace.
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tiredaiiro's journal
jubilant